Letter from a Parent

I wanted to take a few moments to thank you all for the wonderful gift you have given my family. The Autism Grant has benefitted not only the recipient, my son Conor, but our entire family.

The opportunity you have given Conor is life changing. I truly feel that he will live a better life because of your compassion and generosity.  He will be a better boy, son, man and father because of the kindness and love of people who he has never even met.

It wasn’t long ago that my wife Cindy and I would spend our free time worrying what Conor’s life would be like. How well could he handle the challenges life gives us daily. Would he ever be able to go to school? If he could would he understand why he is there?  He sure didn’t give us the time of day! Would he pay attention to a teacher? Will he be able to go shopping with us, or go to his brother’s soccer practice without freaking out? Will he be treated with respect?

Will he ever do more than stare past us when we speak to him? How will we ever be able to help him become a good man? Can he hear us? Can he talk? Does he understand? Can we hold him one day? Get a hug? We didn’t even know what was going on in his world. Will he, one day be able to tell us? Like other parents, to ourselves we thought, “What did we do? What didn’t we do? What should we do?” The biggest question seemed to be “what could we afford to do?”  It turned out, not much.

When he was diagnosed with autism the very first thing we asked was “what can we do to help him?”  The Doctor told us about ABA therapy and that Conor had an excellent chance of being able to mainstream and lead a fairly normal life if we could get him into an ABA program. There were things about Conor that impressed the Doctor and I believe he felt the same way we did. Conor needed someone to open the door and set him free.

The Autism Grant has done more than provide a way for the door to be opened. It has allowed a crew to start tearing down the roof and walls that surround Conor. It’s like a renovation.  Every week he attends the Dominion School for Autism, it seems bricks of the wall are removed and replaced with building blocks for his future.

His personality is coming out like fresh paint on a wall.

He has learned to use life skills that we worried he would never even understand. He is more alert to the environment around him. He has recently started speaking to us in mild conversation. Asking a question, telling us he is hungry or needs to go potty, pointing out something as simple as “you are wearing a hat” or “the dog is black.” He has made a friend and even approached a child at the library to assist with a puzzle.

Six months ago none of that would have happened. Six months ago we were lost at sea. Insurance wouldn’t provide or assist with ABA therapy. The county schools offered nothing close to what the Doctor suggested for Conor. Though I have a decent job and have worked hard my whole life, the programs available cost much more than I made even before taxes and insurance. We had previously enrolled Conor in a “Special Ed” class with the public school system.  Though the teacher obviously cared for my son, she had 6 other kids with various disabilities and ended up putting Conor in noise reduction earphones for most of the day. He would be quiet and less needy. We had no idea until kids at the bus stop asked what kind of music Conor was listening to at school. Whenever they saw him he had headphones on. Not exactly what the Doctor ordered.

We felt a little more helpless after the diagnosis because we knew what he had, knew he could be helped and knew we could never send him for the help. We never felt sorry for ourselves but we did feel sad for our son. So… we researched autism schools and found Dominion School for Autism. We then researched grants and found The Autism Grant. From what I read on the websites I felt this was not only Conor’s best opportunity, but that it was perfect for him. Almost like the programs were put together with him in mind. We applied immediately and included a letter and Conor’s records.

A few weeks passed. I remember this because I hadn’t cried in a long time. My wife and I were talking about Conor again and trying to figure out our options. “I guess we have to send him to the county school” I said. “It’s better than nothing right? Keep him focused on schooling.” We talked and got sad. “I guess the grant people aren’t going to call, we have to do something” she said. Just then, and it’s no lie, her phone beeped to alert her of a message. She checked the message and handed me the phone. It was Jen from the Dominion School telling us they were interested in meeting Conor and trying to help us. We just embraced and cried there in the kitchen like a couple who just found out they were pregnant. Wow.  It was just a small step but I felt like Neil Armstrong.

The rest is history. Conor was offered a full grant from The Autism Grant to attend the Dominion School for Autism and is becoming a new person. We feel like he was born again through this opportunity. Given another chance at life, renovated in a way. He is not “fixed” but is improving, and the future looks brighter than it did at any other point in his life. He still has autism but the little smiles, hugs, questions, or even defiance are welcome changes and heartwarming.

We can never thank you enough or put into words the wonderful opportunity you offer children through your generosity and caring.

I really feel like all of you are heroes for the contribution you have made to other people’s children. Together, you have made possible a positive change in Conor and we thank you.

Merry Christmas,

Rob and Cindy (Conor’s Parents)